Saturday, July 10, 2010

As times goes on i began to wonder about certain changes that been going through in my life.
For quite awhile i thought that i would regret on certain things,
but i'm glad that God did actually helped me and make me aware of what i had.
Cause if not why would i be living a better life now and i'm happy with what i have now.
I began to appreciate myself more, more confidence in myself, meeting new peoples and places.
I was once a fool back then, making myself with no pride, giving my pride and ego away,
for someone that's not worth it.
Eventually i noticed that i wasn't so fucked up to begin with, it's what i did with that person
that make me like a fucked up person.
but yet again i wasn't as bad as that someone.
I pitied the other party to get the feeling that i get during that time.
I guess karma is a bitch and will get those back on you someday.

Nowadays i see people becoming more and more greedy with money.
What was rightfully mine is slowly drifting away from my possessions.
What i meant was inheritance from my late mother,
They are getting more than what my sis and i are getting,
but still they can't get enough of it and wanted more.
To be honest i don't really care about money, and i don't really put much hope in it.
Cause i know i'll still be thankful to God for what i have right now.
Eventhough i might not be as successful or rich,
but i'm trying my best to get there in the future.

As far as studies, recent results wasn't really to be proud of.
I got myself distracted and carried away by the current.
People were noticing but i guess it's my own fault to begin with.
How could people help if i don't even help myself in the first place.
With 1 year left of studying, i hope i won't let my family down.
Getting good grades comes first, in order to become successful.
Won't be distracted or become lazy when the new semester commences.

Today my cousin got his first salary and treated his wife, my sis and me to nice a dinner.
Dinner at Chili's at Empire Gallery Subang, situated near my home.
It's nice being treated to a nice dinner, well soon it'll be my turn to do that.
Seeing this moment, makes me realize that i'm not a kid anymore that i used to be.
Soon i'll have to take responsibility in my life and not depend on parents anymore.
Having the lost of a mother at young age and dad staying far away,
makes me lonely at times, well they are times you wish you have them by your side.
I'm already 21 years old this year, i can't really be playful and taking life for granted anymore.
Who knows how long will i even stay in this world.
What i'll become in the future.
Who is still gonna be there by my side.

I missed my mum and dad.
I missed those times when we are all together as a family.
I guess i can see myself getting older and older each year.
Looking back on those times, either sad or happy.
I guess God has its plan, constantly testing myself to circumstances.
Everything have a positive side to it, just need to look at the brighter side of life.
I guess all this events make me stronger as person,
what we experience make us more aware of the situation,
in the hopes of not making the same mistake again or to improve what we lacked.

Well that's my story for now, as life is similiar to a storybook,
my life have not reached its end of the story just yet.
So there's still time for me to change my own fate and future; and make my story interesting.

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